Things I've learned from grief

1. It gets worse as time goes on
2. You just feel sadness and loss and sadness and loss and sadness and loss and it's never ending
3. Things won't actually get better bc what you lost will never come back, but it will get better in the sense that one day you won't be as affected by it anymore
4. Constant emptiness in the space of absence
5. Guilt and grief easily intertwine and you don't know how to tell them apart anymore
6. You're okay but you're also not okay
7. It gets so much worse as time goes on
8. You do everything besides what you're supposed to do, bc subconsciously you know that nothing is the way it's supposed to be
9. You feel uneasy for feeling sad due to the time that it has gone on
10. You start to mess up or forget details about the person but you can't double check with them to get it right anymore
11. You worry one day you'll forget everything or most things about that person
12. This doesn't mean they were insignificant, but you get upset thinking you'd be better at remembering if they really meant that much to you
13. You see them in everything you do
14. It doesn't come a day that you don't miss them
15. You wonder if anyone feels the same as you do, but it's unlikely as everyone experiences grief differently.

I think I'm writing this down so it becomes something tangible, so these thoughts don't become as fleeting as the memories of her