Impermanence

I haven't wrote in a while and writing again feels familiar, yet so different.

I do love writing very much. But when something bad thing happens or when I feel undeserving to do what I love, I just stop writing, almost completely, maybe as a form of condemnation for myself. I have no idea either.

But for not writing for 2 months, I feel as if I've forgotten words. I feel as if I lost touched with how sentences flow and how paragraphs form.

And as much I want to come back to my blog and just go on and write and write forever, I am way too busy. With most of my time wasted on social media, I barely have time left for chores and homework. I know I should have deleted those distracting apps, but at the same time I don't want to lose touch with the world outside. I don't know why it's necessary to learn about other people's life 24/7, but something about it still makes me do it, despite the fact that I could be living my own.

I just feel like there are so many things to do, so many things I want to say, but so little time left. I really don't want these things to be left undone, words to be left unsaid. I need to grab ahold the time that is left and make full use out of it but I know that I am too caught up in the passing of the world. I constantly remind myself, "You were not put on earth to be remembered, you were put here to prepare for eternity." But even as I struggle, I hope to remain in faith. There are so many things I want to do before I leave, but I lack courage.

And unto the day I learn how to be bold and to stand firm in who I am, I will try and try to improve myself.

Even now, I feel as if this blog post is too vague but here I am, still rambling on about whatever. But so many things had happened in the past month. I want to share them but I decided to keep them all to myself because of all the bad things that happened during then, and I want to forget the whole thing altogether. Once again, I need to be constantly reminded of how short life here on earth is, and how temporary everything really is.