Things that distract me from God

1. Food
2. The possibility of what if
3. Internet
4. Youtube
5. Affection from another person
6. Romanticism of things that hurt/toxicity

I've been feeling sad, but I only have myself to blame because I was the one who had pushed him away. I distanced myself for various reasons, but one above all else was because I wanted to draw closer to God first before starting anything else. Lynnie told to me eat something sweet because that always cheers her up, so I've been nibbling on mooncake. But I've honestly never met a guy who's been able to make me laugh so much and so genuinely as he does, whom I'm so comfortable around, and only after meeting him for a few months. It's so strange because I've known who he was for years, but had only met him this year, thinking back everything just seems so right. I don't ever say this but in an alternate reality everything could be so different. I just have to trust God on this one. 

I'm finally dedicating words to you. You really do deserve it.

xx,

Jan