This is the preface of an apology I have written for myself.

Dear me, 

I'm sorry for everything I had made you out to be. You truly deserved so much more and so much better.

Everything I am doing these days is shielding you from the harm and to protect you in the worst ways possible. 

The dissociation doesn't get better. I'm sorry.

I hope you will feel safe one day, I really do.

Love,

me.