Thursday, July 12, 2018

July

Things I have taken notice of/realised in the past month or two:

  1. sorries and apologies spill from my lips like water from an overflowing sink
  2. it was not that I did not believe in the goodness of God, it was more so I did, but I also believed in the wrath of God
  3. time is relative  
  4. it is so difficult to grasp the reality of something you refuse to believe in
  5. i do not owe anyone anything
  6. i am no longer who i want to be
  7. and that hurts

We're at this point of life where everything is uncertain. I have always believed in the butterfly effect and it is also bc of so that I am such an indecisive person. I've made way too many mistakes in the past and it always kills me when the imminent thought of what if resurfaces. I can't help but to think, if a choice so small could have such big effects, what more a big decision, one that's drastic and life-changing?

A second earlier and you might not have been hit by the drunkard drive. A moment earlier and you might have been able to speak to your late grandmother before she left. A few checkups earlier and you might have had longer to live. 

Nothing more out of touch with reality as I am as of now. When will I wake up?

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