18;

Hasn't this always been the age you've been anticipating for years? Where you're finally legal, able to drink, able to drive, able to club, freedom to do as you please. Where is the party? The one you've pictured for years or even to spend it with your friends over a nice meal?

Then why is it that you're sat here questioning what you've done for the past many years? Questioning which friends are real and which ones aren't? Wondering if your presence in anyone's life even means anything to any of them?

Constantly thinking how is it possible for you to lose so many friends. How is it possible to feel this lonely. How is it possible for one to disappear, to fade into the walls, and vanish, so easily.

"I don't want new days; I want all my old ones back"

Always so deeply pained by the scars left by change. It's inevitable, but I can't deny that change is not always for the better, but it could also be for the worse. Maybe it's because the only change I've only known my whole life has resulted in this melancholy I feel deep in my heart?

I so deeply crave something constant, and it's extend in hand of familiarity, stability, comfort. I don't want change.

How selfish is it of me to say this?