shattered

four months ago,
my walls were higher
and the gates shut tight around my heart
i would've sworn i'd never let anyone in again

but when i met you and as we began to speak
you slowly unfolded me
you managed to knock down the walls
that were once stronger than concrete

you crept in and you stayed there
but when your presence was of no longer
you were still there in my heart
and i think pieces of you still remain

i'm not sure when you'd leave completely
you still linger in mind from time to time
i can't seem to get rid of the thought of you
maybe it was bc i was the one who begged you not to go

when you left me
you broke all the promises you made
but what you didn't realise was
you also broke me

A better time, that's all I'm asking for

One day, it will stop hurting you
It will stop troubling you
It will stop making you cry

But until then,
It will always burn
It will always pain you just thinking about it
Your heart will hurt and long for the person
But what's great is that one day it won't bother you anymore
One day you won't feel that throbbing heartache anymore

It will take time
And I'm still waiting unto that day.

For once I didn't dream about you last night
I thought that maybe I've learnt to live without you

But then why am I feeling sad again when I woke up thinking about how I won't be talking to you anymore?

"I don't want closure because I know it's goodbye"

I'll never forget the things you told me by the water fountain
When the air was breezy and stars filled the sky

As your hand brushed through my hair
You leaned in for a soft and gentle kiss
I could still feel it tingling even after your lips parted from mine
And they never met again

My heart raced, beating against my chest
It felt like it was about to explode

We talked for hours
You shared your worries and I told you mine
I don't know how but you managed to break down the walls surrounding my heart
I showed you the person underneath this mask
I told you about my past and showed you my scars
I told you my thoughts and disclosed my secrets
I trusted you with them, and you trusted me with yours

As we parted ways, I went in for a hug
It lasted a little more than usual
And before you left, you ruffled my hair a little
And gave me the sweetest smile I've ever seen
A smile of reassurance; of security

It's the little things you did that made the butterflies flutter in my stomach

But we haven't spoken to each other since that day
You never called, never told me why
You just left, without a reason
I should have known, nothing ever lasts

And now I have to learn to get used to the days without you again.
I have to get used to the empty nights and lonely heart
I have to get used to feeling as if there's nothing to look forward to
I have to get used to feeling broken inside again

You picked me up
Only to throw me back down

How can you say that it meant nothing to you when it meant everything to me?