The thought of it

Sometimes I just feel inadequate.
There are so many other people in the world who are better than me, in everything.
And again and again I had been proven of that.
Being chose over for debates, being left out during activities.

Sometimes I just want a chance to prove myself wrong.
That I am more than I am.
That I am capable of so much more.

And yet I don't want to get disappointed in myself for all that I cannot do.

It is a fact that everyone else is better than me.
And God loves me regardless.

But sometimes it just hurts,
You know?

I have so much to offer.
Yet I am not given the chance to.

Note to self

Janelle, don't bottle all of this up. Let it out, let it all out. Don't numb yourself, not again.

Glass

I feel plastered all over with band-aids and tape, trying to hold myself. But that won't fix the shattered pieces. One day, things would just break again and the damage would just be worse than before. How do I keep myself from the hurt?

Again

I feel like this again. Back to the sleepless nights and self loathing. Why am I where I was again? Hadn't I vowed to never come back to this state of mind again? But it's different, this time, I won't be okay again. It takes more than just fixing.